I wrote an amazing song in my sleep last night. The excitement woke me up at 4 am, I grabbed my phone and pressed voice memo thinking….fast now, I gotta capture it before it’s gone. I hummed the melody and words into the phone, then I fell back asleep. On the subway this morning I listened back, puzzled by my creation. It doesn’t resemble anything I experienced last night. Please use it, maybe you can unlock the greatness of this piece.
Dreaming was an escape and a past-time I had already as a kid. When the outside world was grey and rainy, when fish was served in our house on Tuesdays-there were places far more exciting and colourful than my tiny room in our row house north of Stockholm. I let my mind travel far and wide, it still does.
For me, dreams and mental images work as fuel, they get me started and give me a sense of direction. If I spend too much time with my imagination nothing gets done, but there’s a small gap of time after every new idea when my enthusiasm and curiosity can move mountains. I try to ride this initial wave of motivation before doubt, second-guessing and pure everyday bullshit gets in the way.
I start moving towards what my mind has seen. A coffee with a potential collaborator, have my piano tuned up, write the first few lines of a song, with every act I gain speed and confidence. I keep my eyes fixed on the road, occasionally I lift my gaze to catch a glimpse of the horizon, the very reason I set out in the first place. The final destination matters less and less….I know where I’m going but the work fuels itself. I just need that initial speed…
Things never turn out quite like I imagined them, so I need to adjust course along the way. Sometimes I get bogged down…my inner perfectionist whispers mean and uninspiring things to me. I try to adopt the mind of a 4 year old-paper and glue, it’s all it takes. I scrap ideas along the way and put them together in a new ways.
The further I go, the shapes become more clear and defined, songs get recorded, pictures are taken, packaging sent off to the printshop….somewhere here the dream get’s squeezed into reality. Reality brings compromise and a number of painful choices but also a deep satisfaction of having actually made something. When I’m done, I feel empty. So… I make sure to fill up my phone with new voice memos and blurry ideas, I take a breather and start moving again.
Enjoy your sleep
Love
Anna
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